Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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