I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
