why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Rumble strips road head = magical
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
