can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Someone came in the potted fern
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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