Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
