I checked into jail on foursquare
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
