you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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