she was so not down for the gang bang
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
