the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
