For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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