In the future we'll all be gay
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
