I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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