Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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