I feel great
I just peed on a car
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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