i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
