so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
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