I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
