thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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