After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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