did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
