My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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