Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
