Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
