he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
