he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
