So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
