hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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