At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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