these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
