How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
