just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
