Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
