that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize