Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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