the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?