So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think