I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
