FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.