I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need water and some morals
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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