tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
