It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This house was built for laser tag.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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