elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm like, not good at living.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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