Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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