I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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