Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up under a house in Key West
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