best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
