I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
