She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize