rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
