haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
