'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
