I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
