hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize