no you cant smoke seaweed
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
