SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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