I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there was a trapeze. enough said
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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