I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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