I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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