i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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