just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
