He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
