Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
