Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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