shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
