i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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