Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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