Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
