I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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