I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
