I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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